What a pleasant week I’ve had!!!

During the last week I’ve been screamed at, insulted, reported and stoned. And I don’t mean stoned as in illegal substances either.

The screaming happened as I was taking a fare to South Kensington from St Johns Wood. She’d only given me the area and not the street name so as I approached her turning (Thurloe Street) I was unaware I had to take the left and drove straight past it. The scream of “left, left, left!!!!” could have curdled milk and poisoned you to death at the same time as it was both screechingly loud and venomous at the same time. I’m sorry but I only have one word for women like that: SLAGS. On the phone all the way, not paying attention, expecting you to be mind readers and then talking to you like shit. I should put a sign up saying something like “If you’re a slag then fuck off!!”

As you may be able to guess I’m feeling pretty belligerent at the moment, probably not the best time to do this post but what the hell.

The insults were thrown at me as I stopped for an American guy who could barely stand up on the corner of Kings Road and Limerston Street last night. I should’ve done what the three other cabs before me did and just drive past him but I always feel like I can handle most situations. So he gets in and slumps in the back seat.

Me: Where to mate?
Him: f^$@&^$$(incoherent babble)
Me: What?
Him: (Starting to close his eyes) c@&*p^%$”$£$ (more incoherent babble)
Me: I need an address (loudly)
Him: Dunno
Me: I can’t take you without an address.
Him: Drive (indicating forward)
Me: No I need an address otherwise you’ll have to get out.
Him: Fughhh Offf!!

I jumped straight out of the cab and ran round to the nearside, yanked open the door and told him “I’ll give you fuck off you cunt, out!!!!!” He starts eyeing me up to see if he fancies his chances then starts telling me to fuck off again. There was a restaurant full of diners eating al fresco right by where I stopped and they were all enjoying the show. I knew they’d all be witnesses should matters take a turn for the worst so I made sure I just kept control. “get out of the taxi now!!” “Fuck off” he responds. Nothing for it but the old make out you’re calling the cops routine. I get back into the cab and make like I’m dialing and then fake a whole conversation with the emergency services controller making sure he could hear me describing him as a “little bald fat yank wanker”. (No offence to any decent Americans out there but when you lose it things just come out the way they do). That did the trick and he started getting out of the cab. As he got out I said “why don’t you stick around and then you can tell the cops to fuck of as well” He hurled a final few insults at me and walked off towards Sloane Square. Some people.

The “reporting” if you could call it that was a few days ago. I started work around 8pm and made my way to the Paddington Taxi Rank. There were no cabs on it and there was a little kid around 10 years old on a bike weaving uncertainly on the empty road. I gave him a wide berth and waited at the lights. Next thing he pulls up alongside my open window and says that I nearly ran him over. He was just trying it on as I was nowhere near him. I told him to get lost and that he was trespassing on station property. He proceeded to write my number plate down on a scap of paper and declare that he was going to report me. 10 years old and he’s already behaving like a twat. This country is in deep shit!!

And now to the stoning. Driving south along Grays Inn Road. A black kid with a hooded top is standing in the centre of the road. As I pass he throws a handful of stones at me. Luckily the four windows were down as it was hot but unluckily I caught one in the face. The kid runs off laughing while I pull over to check in the mirror. A lump is developing nicely and strangely I feel no pain, just a numbness spreading across my temple. Why he did that to me I have no idea. He probably did it for a dare or to look big in front of his mates but it won’t be long before he kills someone. I really despair of what is happening in this country.

I need a break and am planning a trip to Spain in September. I can’t wait.