Wednesday, June 06, 2007

My name is not Chris.

Hello there, avid readers.
First and foremost, my name isn't Chris. If you read "Chris the trouble magnets" comments in my last post, Chris being the person I was writing about, you'll see he mentions my name or one of a few names I go by. To date I answer to at least four different names.

Now that we've got that cleared up i'll reply to a few comments.

Ted Martin: I had an idea I read about it on your blog. I'd love to be able to have a laptop with lots of attatchments and gizmos but there's no way I'd be able to have a stand for it in the area immediately to my left as that is where we put luggage, unlike cabs in the US where they have enormous trunks (we call them boots). So I guess i'll have to settle for the much smaller PDA and subscribe to an isp like T Mobile that has WiFi hotspots all over town. Love your blog. Keep it up.

Jo: Hi there sis. I love over nuked pasta. Not overcooked where its all soft but over nuked where its crispy or even chewy at the bottom of the container. They do some lovely fillings for baguettes in the Piccolo my favourite being barbeque chicken. I've been going there for practically the whole 17 years I've been a cabby and only ever heard of one case of someone I know dropping two stones in a few days because he caught salmonella from a dodgy chicken escalope. What was yer man thinking taking you there for a meal? You'dve had a better feed up at the taxi shelter in Warwick Avenue or the Royal Oak!!

Tomartin: Feel free to use any of my material as it's there for everyones enjoyment and use but just don't expect me to participate in anything as I don't have the time or inclination.

Cabhack: I read so many blogs when I have the time and often link to them from other sites that I forget where I read them. I enjoy all the cab blogs and many others too. I read yours all the time and enjoy your stories so consider yourself "Blogrolled".

If any other cabbies want me to blogroll them just let me know.

Over the last few days I have watched the whole of 24 season 6. Jack's the man.

Since my last post I have paid the £800 cab rent and am hoping to pay a single week in the next few days before it runs into two weeks again. They never said a word to me and secretly I think it suits them to have some of us pay late as it just gets put straight into a paypacket for one of the mechanics.

The only incident worth writing about happened last night. It was fairly quiet and I was driving along Oxford Street towards Marble Arch. At the traffic lights I had more or less made up my mind to call it a night when one of my backdoors opened and a very evidently gay 50 something got in and asked for Ealing. He started rambling on about having been touched up by a rugged unshaven type without his permission in a bar close by. I knew I'd be blogging it so started goading him to tell me more about it. He went on to describe the ettiquette involved in these places and how this guy seemed to ignore it. He said in cases like this you would have to slap them across the face and tell them, in no uncertain terms, to go away but as he was only slightly built and the offender was "massive" he felt scared. I think he mistook my interest as a sign that I wanted some sort of involvement with him as he then proceeded to "chat me up". I laughed inwardly and just humoured him. We got to talking about all sorts of things "gay related" and I think he thought he'd cracked it when I gave him the bad news that I was not a cock lover but a pussy lover. After a while he asked me to pull over in Uxbridge Road and proceeded to puke his guts up between the cab and the kerb. He felt much better and declared that none of it had landed in the cab, much to my relief. He carried on with the sales pitch of why I would love to take it up the arse and to nosh a bloke off but I'm glad to say that I'm still 100% hetero sexual as we speak. He puked up once more in Ealing Broadway and soon after we reached his house. He'd also been talking about his dog and me about mine so as a last resort he asked if I'd like to come in and see his doggie. I think not.

Check back soon


Paradise Driver said...


You didn't want to throw the poor dog a bone?


It does get strange out there, at times, doesn't it?

cabhack said...


Great entry!! I like every time you mention the streets and regions of London you're driving! Haven't been there since I was 9 years old, and don't remember much of it. Keep 'em coming!

Bill said...

So there I was, in a hotel (?) on Belgravia, just a stone's throw away from Victoria Station yesterday, I totally did NOT have any way to invite you to the little pub kitty corner to the hotel for a pint!
Well, maybe next time.


jo said...

Hi Chris (sorry LC)

Heh, heh the comments are just as entertaining as the blog.

You cheeky git - I suppose you think you are being funny. Although having suggested the cabbies shelters, the one on Fitzjohns Avenue near Hampstead has always been a nice place to stop for a bacon roll. It's just not quite the place I would choose for a special day out.

Love and hugs Big Sis x

jo said...

PS. This posting is quite crude - you know I am a lady. :)

london_cabby said...

Bill: Do you mean the Stag pub? Full of Iron Hoofs mate.

Jo: I think you mean Haverstock Hill my lady.

Keith said...

So whilst you are a pussy lover, he was a dog lover after all...

Anonymous said...

Iron Hoofs?

Anonymous said...


Bill said...

So there I was in Greenwich and I saw a sign. "Humped Pelican Crossing". Well, I have to admit, its dreadfully nice of you all to have a pedestrian crossing just for sexually assaulted sea birds.

Bloody difficult to find a train in a subway though. They just seemed to go down and right back up the other side of the road.

Now if I can only find a Toucan crossing. That woulda made my day!

DB said...

who's ya mate?????

Anonymous said...

i dunno lc with that mask on in your profile picture you would fit right in at one of those fetish places!!