Monday, May 07, 2007

Freaky Fridays

Friday was a good night for me. I generally spend most of each and every Friday evening avoiding the West End like the plague due to the amount of undesirables that frequent it. In full swing, the West End can be like a labyrinth that has no way out, even for the experienced cabbie. This is due to people being under the impression that they’re going to find a nice little parking space with their name on it. Another thing people do is to wait for a parking space. If they see someone walking towards their car they’ll simple put their hazard lights on, hold everything up behind them and wait the 2,3 or 4 minutes it might take these people to enter their car, put their seatbelts on, check their faces in the mirror and maybe even add a little make up and eventually drive off. The drivers who’ve been patiently waiting are then treated to a painful show of how not to park whilst they watch these people, the larger percent of who are female (sorry ladies but the myth is true that most of you can’t park, let alone drive), try and line their cars up and back in to the recently vacated space. It’s a phenomenon that people have got used to as no one ever seems to honk the horn and may well have to repeat the whole procedure again in the next few seconds. Places like Soho Square and Wardour Street are notorious for this and best avoided unless absolutely necessary.

Once you have fought your way out of the West End the chances are that within two jobs you’ll be headed right back into the thick of it. I always inwardly groan but never refuse. I do try and put the passenger off by saying that the traffic is the worst I’ve ever seen it but they never seem to take my advice until we’re at a standstill in the last third of Piccadilly at which point they bale out leaving you stuck and unable to earn another penny until you’re out of it.

So, given all of the above I always like to try and stay in and around the Kensington area where the fares are of a better class and the traffic a hell of a lot lighter. I’ve found a lot of the people who are on a night out in Kensington will be from west or south west London. The bulk of the hailed fares will end up in places like Clapham, Putney, Wimbledon, Battersea and occasionally way out west into the countryside.

I did a nice job from the Crabshack in Kings Road out to Twickenham and Strawberry Hill. These four young ladies were well oiled and it didn’t take long for the sexual innuendo to start flying and the giggling fits to follow. A few years ago I would have felt uncomfortable at being included in these sorts of antics but I just take it in my stride now and give a little back without going over the top. The upshot of it all was that two of the young ladies flashed their boobs at me almost causing me to have an accident.

As I drove away from the drop in Strawberry Hill I headed back towards Twickenham High Street. My light is always off as a hail there will generally take you further out into the unknown. Whilst waiting at the traffic lights another couple of young ladies asked if I would mind going to Notting Hill. Would I mind? It’s unheard of but no I wouldn’t mind and get your sweet little arses in the cab. These sort of opportunities are very few and far between but when they happen they could be describes as better than…….sex!!

Notting Hill is always buzzing, day or night so the work just flowed for most of the evening.

I went to the taxi drivers restaurant at the Royal Oak as I was short on pound coins and took the opportunity to grab a ham salad sandwich and a coffee. With the full intention of resuming work after my snack I got talking to a few people down there and eventually called it a night instead.

Saturday and Sunday just never happened for me. I couldn’t muster up any enthusiasm. Today, Monday, is the Mayday Bank Holiday and it should be pretty busy all day plus the meters are on rate three all day which is always a great help.

Here's a joke for your enjoyment. Check back soon.


Anonymous said...

You sexist pig!!

Paradise Driver said...

Hey, LC.

I love those "boob shots" also.

Happens about once a week. Often enough that I usually forget to mention it.


John said...

You both seem to be working in paradise.

Loui (and his mum!) said...

Tut tut tut about all lady drivers being bad! I have to say that being a lady driver myself I have to agree!

Jackie x